Thursday, May 10, 2012

You're Probably Right, Boss...Those Thousands of Years of Cross-Cultural Tradition and Practice Defining Marriage? They Probably Don't Really Matter That Much

Yesterday, I listened to a television pundit compare all the recent talk on the political stage and in the media about gay marriage to "the passengers on the Titanic discussing ballroom dancing moves as the ship is going down"...with almost $16 trillion in debt hanging over the heads of our progeny for generations to come, with a shrinking work force and nearly three and a half years of 8% plus unemployment, and with downright anemic economic growth as the last recession supposedly disappears in our rearview mirrors, I am, on the one hand, prone to agree with him...we’ve got bigger issues to grapple with…on the other, however, do we?


On Wednesday, President Obama announced in an ABC interview that his views on gay marriage have "evolved" over the last four years…from his former affirmation that marriage is a union of a man and a woman to his newfound, "evolved" position that the institution should be available to same sex couples, as well...he expressed that this was his personal view, which, of course, he is entitled to...beyond the obvious, that this was a premeditated political gambit (he admitted as much), the timing of which was accelerated by Sir Gaff-alot, Joe Biden, Lord of the Loose Cannon, the President's proclamation reveals a troubling ideology and portends a frightening trend that is of concern to many Americans...that is that there no longer remain any traditional values and institutions in our culture that are sacred and that should be protected from the tender mercies of the disgruntlement of some sub-group, unhappy with their lot, whether the result of nature, nurture, or personal choice, or from the insidious, Progressive (and mistaken) notion that change for the sake of change is inherently good...

There are those among us who literally abhor both the ideology and the trend underlying his announcement...like most folks of my generation, my personal views on homosexuality have undergone a major metamorphosis from their origins in the "Leave to Beaver" mores and attitudes of the '50s and '60s, the decades that provided the backdrop to my childhood...in my life, I have come to know, love, and cherish many wonderful people who also happen to be homosexuals...over time, I have “evolved” to believe that in the spirit of the Isley Brothers "I can't tell you who to sock it to", that domestic partnerships should be provided legal recognition, and that homosexual partners should be accorded some "spouse-like" or "spouse equivalent" protections, rights, and privileges under the law...but, and I do mean but, borrowing the President's own words, I also believe that "marriage is not a civil right"...

Recently, fellow conservative and Facebook friend, Jenny Gardner Whaley, shared a couple of things on this topic that she borrowed from the work of the Witherspoon Institute, an organization whose goal is to enhance public understanding of the political, moral, and philosophical principles of free and democratic societies...Jenny excerpted the following from the Institute’s Marriage and the Public Good: Ten Principles:

 "Marriage protects children, men and women, and the common good. The health of marriage is particularly important in a free society, which depends upon citizens to govern their private lives and rear their children responsibly, so as to limit the scope, size, and power of the state. The nation’s retreat from marriage has been particularly consequential for our society’s most vulnerable communities: minorities and the poor pay a disproportionately heavy price when marriage declines in their communities. Marriage also offers men and women as spouses a good they can have in no other way: a mutual and complete giving of the self. Thus, marriage understood as the enduring union of husband and wife is both a good in itself and also advances the public interest."...

She also shared the framework of the principles that Witherspoon Institution found inherent to marriage and its place in our society:

TEN PRINCIPLES ON MARRIAGE AND THE PUBLIC GOOD
1. Marriage is a personal union, intended for the whole of life, of husband and wife.
2. Marriage is a profound human good, elevating and perfecting our social and sexual nature.
3. Ordinarily, both men and women who marry are better off as a result.
4. Marriage protects and promotes the well-being of children.
5. Marriage sustains civil society and promotes the common good.
6. Marriage is a wealth-creating institution, increasing human and social capital.
7. When marriage weakens, the equality gap widens, as children suffer from the disadvantages of growing up in homes without committed mothers and fathers.
8. A functioning marriage culture serves to protect political liberty and foster limited government.
9. The laws that govern marriage matter significantly.
10. “Civil marriage” and “religious marriage” cannot be rigidly or completely divorced from one another.

In sum, the conclusion of the Institute’s work seems to be that the institution of marriage is a critical force girding the strength of the very fabric of our society and of our nation. For the past half century, this social rock has been weathered by the eroding forces of our society’s addiction to immediate self gratification and by a dearth of stick-tuit-tiveness in our multi-tasking, ADD, “new is better”,  "rat race" of a culture. With divorce rates high due to today’s disposable mentality toward marriage, few among us, including this writer, can claim innocence in or immunity from the societal attrition wrought upon this, the most fundamental and valuable of human relationships...the institution of marriage needs no new corroding forces to further dilute it and eat away at its foundations...

Of course, this is a given...in today’s politically correct, “don’t want anybody’s feelings to be hurt” culture, if you take a stand that is not viewed as “progressive” or “evolved”, or “PC”, you will immediately be branded a bigot and “anti” this or that…and on this particular issue, despite the fact that there have been millenia of tradition and practice across virtually every culture establishing marriage as a heterosexual institution, anyone who does roll over in favor of ignoring this vast trove of human experience is certain to be labeled homophobic... well, I just can’t worry over or be responsible for that kind of short-sighted, illogical, knee jerk generalizing and stereo-typing…I know what is in my own heart…I also know that we live in a country and culture today that is willing to destroy anything and everything, no matter how sacrosanct and vital it might be to its general welfare, in an effort to pacify and ameliorate every discontentment, “unfairness” or “injustice” that anyone “feels” or “perceives” or imagines…

Look, in a perfect world, I would like to be like some people, naturally thin and fit, to be able to drink real beer and eat Chocolate Extreme Blizzards with “extra stuff” all damn day every day…and I can, if I want to die early and be buried in a casket the size of an ocean freighter…and I would love to play and dunk in the NBA or to be able to sing and play as rock star in front of throngs (not thongs) of adoring fans…is it really fair that I am old, fat, and virtually devoid of any scintilla of athletic or musical talent?…I mean, should that even matter?...Is it fair that I be denied my dreams on that basis?…for that matter, by golly, I should be able to look like George Clooney and have strange women worldwide swooning over me if my heart so desires it, right?...right?...right?

Wrong…Why?...because, despite all that Progressive, “we are all born equal” bull crap that liberals dribble on about, we aren’t…we just aren’t all equal in every way…people never have been, and they never will be…a few example...some people are mesomorphs blessed with whirring metabolisms that consume as much of whatever they want without gaining weight, while others, like me, are just “fat, fat, fattys” who can't look at or think about food without gaining weight…some people are born with “tall” genes and athletic skills that favor and facilitate their becoming professional athletes, while others are spazzes that struggle with shoe tying and gum chewing done simultaneously…some people are  born with an aptitude, affinity and "ear" for music, while others can’t even carry the simplest of tunes…some people are blessed with natural good looks, while others…well, they just look like me…and then some people are born black, some white, some smart, some not so much, some male, some female, some straight, some gay…you get my drift...

The President is certainly entitled to evolve….I respect his right to hold his own opinion…while I too have evolved, my final position on this topic remains somewhat different from his…and you know, what I didn’t hear him say is that I, and the many others who share my perspective, am entitled to my position and that it should be treated with respect, as well…but in the end, by my small way of thinking, there are some things, like what marriage is, for instance, that just aren't supposed to be messed with...some things in a culture should remain constants...that's what makes cultures cultures...

In the meantime, what I know for certain is that both heterosexual and homosexual households need jobs and energy...so-o-o-o-o Captain, why don't we just focus on our own ship in distress…once we get it righted, perhaps we can get back to those ballroom dance lessons…


P.S. You say "toh-may-toh", I say "toh-mah-toh", you say "evolve", I say "flip flop"...why? because if a conservative "evolves" in their thinking on an issue, it's "flip flopping"...truth...

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